"monsexual privilege doesnt exist" =/= "bi erasure doesnt exist"

"dont say homophobic things to/about gay people" =/= "no gay person has ever been mean to a bi person ever"

also “has higher visibility” =/= “privilege”, bc visibility =/= power, esp. when the group in question is a marginalized group

every single different experience does not need to be qualified in terms of privilege bc that term doesnt apply to everything.


A photo I took of beautiful Sophia from last summer’s Dyke March in Montreal, QC


A photo I took of beautiful Sophia from last summer’s Dyke March in Montreal, QC


REFUGE restrooms is now live on the web at It is viewable on any browser.

REFUGE seeks to provide safe bathroom access for transgender, intersex, and other gender nonconformist individuals. A few months back the valuable safe2pee database stopped working. We present Refuge as a replacement. Starting with the existing database of listings from Safe2Pee, refuge makes the database easily searchable and mappable to allow folks to find the nearest safe restroom.

This is very much in its alpha stage and had a lot of growing to do. I started learning how to code not that long ago so I’m still learning how I can make the app better and better. The app is open source so please contribute to the project on github @
stay tuned both here and on twitter @refugerestrooms.
Stonewall: Pride needs to be more inclusive for black and trans people


Ruth Hunt of Stonewall, a UK charity organization, recently spoke out about marginalization that continues to exist within mainstream LGBT movements - namely, anti-Blackness and transphobia.

I think it’s super important to be thoughtful and critical about the oppressions we replicate within our own communities, especially when we claim “radical” or “progressive” as labels to describe those communities.

Ruth was writing from a UK perspective - does the article ring true for wherever you live?

31 Jul94 notes 94 notes

Mormons resign en masse to protest feminist's ex-communication


Last week, about 100 people gathered in Salt Lake City to resign together from the Church of Latter-Day Saints. 

They were protesting the church’s recent ex-communication of Kate Kelly, the Mormon founder of the group Ordain Women, and other feminist and LGBT activists who have taken heat from the Mormon church for speaking up about their beliefs. 

Organized by Micah Nickolaisen, the event collected letters of resignation from those concerned that the church does not welcome differences or diversity of opinion.

“The purpose of this sort of event, demonstration, protest, is to give voice to the people that are marginalized within the LDS religious community,” Nickolaisen told Fox 13.

“I’m particularly excited to be here today because the reason I initially stopped participating in the church is because of issues of gender and the way that women are treated in the church,” added Tamara Fox, a protestor who submitted a letter of resignation.

Not LGBT-specific, but damn if this isn’t important to us, too. Don’t accept being treated as less-than. We are not second class, and neither are our advocates.

31 Jul135 notes 135 notes

"Star Cross'd Jammers" is a lesbian roller derby romantic comedy

31 Jul60 notes 60 notes


okay since yall seem to be incapable of identifying fake sj posts here’s a handy guide:

  1. go to the source of the post
  2. check the tags
  3. if it’s tagged with two thousand variations of “otherkin” and “headspace” and “sj” then it is 100% fake no exceptions and if you reblog it unironically you are a bad person

Academic: Extend HPV vaccine to boys and gay men to help reduce cancer risk

31 Jul15 notes 15 notes

UK: High Court judge favours Mayor and TFL in ruling on ‘ex-gay’ bus advert ban

30 Jul6 notes 6 notes

Why I’m Still a Butch Lesbian


First thing first: I HATE THIS BLOG POST.

Now that that is out of the way, I’ll explain why….

1. She is speaking over a community she doesn’t understand.

The first piece of evidence is in her us of the word “cisgendered.” I automatically can’t take her seriously. I do my best not to spend too much time in my academic ivory tower, and I do feel a tinge of pretension at having to call this linguistic issue out…but, in the same breath, I’m not sure it is too much to ask that a person be well-read on a subject matter that they are taking such a stark stand against. (Also, she drops a “genderqueers” in there and that is a big No No.) All that aside, the author of this post makes it painfully clear that she does not have a good understanding of nonbinary/genderqueer identities and how these terms operate for the people who use them when she repeatedly conflates masculinity/femininity and gender roles/stereotypes with the use of these identifiers. There are AFAB people who identify as both masculine and female. There are AFAB people who identify as NB/GQ and masculine. There are also plenty of AFAB people who identify as NB/GQ and feminine. Or a mix of both. Or neither. It is far too simplistic to infer that masculine women just stop being women because they are also masculine. Actually, it doesn’t even make sense. Also, there are plenty of AMAB people who are male and effeminate and then those who identify as trans feminine. NB/GQ identities have nothing to do with stereotypes surrounding masculinity and femininity. Or gender roles. When a cis woman to declares that her favorite hobby is weightlifting, she doesn’t know how to cook, and she has no desire to carry a child she is not forced out of her cisness or her relationship with womanhood. She is merely breaking some silly stereotypes constructed around what it means to be a “good” woman. However, if she wakes up one day and says to herself, “Self…I’m not convinced the gender binary is for me anymore,” well, then….WELCOME TO THE CLUB! I would also like to note that this in no way precludes this person from identifying with womanhood (**cough cough** like me **cough cough**). There are a lot of challenges facing cis women and even more facing trans women. Finding yourself more comfortable with a NB/GQ doesn’t mean you have to remove yourself from a sisterhood if you still find that it speaks for you. I also find that this line of thinking only furthers gender policing in all of its many forms….which in this case just calls to mind the cis gatekeeping of the trans community. The worst part of her argument are the essentialist terms she uses to defend her evidence. It’s toxic to rely on these ideas and only skews your own perception of people around you. She simultaneously claims that essential “woman” stereotypes don’t fit her, while suggesting that masculine women are going to be gay. STOP ASSERTING THAT THERE IS ANY RIGHT OR WRONG WAY TO BE ANY ONE THING. STOP IT.

2. She is waiting for someone else to do the hard part.

"Perhaps one day the gender binary will be dismantled totally, and we’ll all stop limiting our children by bringing them up as either males or females." 

Yup. Yeah. This is great. Want to know how we can get started on that? Stop writing essentialist bullshit blog posts about how you are ACTIVELY REJECTING A NONBINARY IDENTITY. If you truly believe in a future without the gender binary…you should maybe not talk to people about how important you think it it is. Maybe…just maybe….if nonbinary and genderqueer children had, I dunno…nonbinary and genderqueer people to look up to they could grow up with less depression and more self esteem. Maybe they could rip apart the binary for you. But, no…let’s spend more time focusing on the cisgender experience. Here is this wacky notion I have…cisgender kids could maybe find themselves looking up to trans people? Yeah? Yeah. They definitely could. What is this separate but equal role model nonsense?

3. She is perpetuating the myth that trans/nb/gq visibility can be reduced to a “trend.”

Trans and nonbinary identities are nothing if not ancient. Anytime I hear a person (accidentally, or otherwise) glorify the gender binary, my first thought is, “You’re a racist with a limited understanding of Western white supremacy.” Nonbinary identities are not new. Allow me to reiterate: NONBINARY IDENTITIES ARE NOT NEW. The relationship we (white people, as I am white), in 2014 living in the USA, have with gender is not indicative of what gender looked like prior to our arrival here. The binary is not what gender looked like in the nations of the people we enslaved, either. Transgender and nonbinary people have always been and will always be. Please don’t claim that you are “square” for choosing not to co opt something you have no intention of respecting. Please don’t encourage cis people to view trans identities as a trendy phase that has an end. Please don’t invalidate people’s lives. 

I have to admit that I have walked this line myself. When I first started to look inward and realize the possibility that there was more to my relationship with my gender than the binary could offer me, I struggled a lot. I would ask myself, “What’s so wrong with being both masculine and female?” or “Am I turning my back on my female community?” I’m not mad at myself for asking these questions. It was a part of my process. And asking myself these questions helped me learn that genderqueer and womanhood don’t have to be mutually exclusive. As masculine as I am, I am interpreted as a cis female when I leave the house. That’s a part of my experience that I can not remove myself from. It is my reality and discussing it/fighting against it/identifying with it does not make me any less genderqueer. In fact, it gives me insight into two lived experiences at once. That duality can be confusing and stressful, but it can also be incredibly enlightening and, I feel, makes for a complex and richly lived life.

As someone who is both AFAB and uses the term “lesbian”, I see a problem with others in my communities and the way we approach NB/GQ people. Let’s stop treating AFAB people outside of the binary like traitors. AFAB people notoriously take up too much space within trans/NB/GQ spaces. Our visibility is more accessible and our blatant discrimination less vicious than our trans sisters. I urge us within the community and cis women alike to appreciate that privilege (and to also push back against it, but that’s another blog post). I say appreciate, because with the safety afforded us we should not be shaming the people in our community against coming out. Ever notice that these sentiments are only ever coming from cis women? Cis men don’t typically feel betrayed by trans women or trans feminine people. And they aren’t known for being the first people to rally around them and offer them support. Perhaps some of the energy being spent on shaming or discouraging or invalidating AFAB nonbinary/genderqueer people could be redirected into support and visibility and safe places for trans women and trans feminine people. 

If a nonbinary/genderqueer identity is not for you…that’s cool. No one wants you to use words for yourself that you don’t find helpful. What this boils down to is: there is no good to be done by going out of your way to defend your cis-ness. I suggest you recognize the privilege you have by not having to live with the added pressure that can come with a non-cis identity. I especially suggest that you, in turn, offer more support to the trans/nonbinary/genderqueer people around you. 

30 Jul57 notes 57 notes

"On several occasions, I heard conversations about how the culture would be better off if homosexuality were re-stigmatized on the playground. If boys would go back to calling other boys “f****t,” the cultural tide would shift against the acceptance of homosexuality as a normal orientation. Never were there conversations about the deviancy of lesbians, only gay men, and the “bathos” of the [transgender community]."Yvette Cantu Schneider, former ex-gay proponent, who recently came out as bisexual and denounced ex-gay therapy

Yvette Schneider, formerly a leading spokesperson for the ‘ex-gay’ movement in America, has come out as bisexual and now supports bans on attempts to change children’s sexual orientations which she once spoke in favor of
Singapore’s censors allow X-Men gay wedding comic because some characters disapprove

30 Jul18 notes 18 notes

Owner of camp accused of starving, torturing, killing gay teens defends himself

The man behind a South African ‘gay cure’ camp has insisted he is not the reason behind the death of a 15-year-old boy.

A picture of Raymond Buys, 15, taken in April 2011 showed a skeletal, emaciated figure fighting for his life.

Just 10 weeks before, the teen’s parents signed him up to the Echo Wild Game Rangers training course in South Africa in perfect health.

In hospital, Buys was severely malnourished, dehydrated, his arm was broken in two places and there were burns and wounds all over his body. He lay in intensive care for four weeks until he died.

Echo Wild Game Rangers camp owner Alex de Koker and employee Michael Erasmus are facing charges of murder, child abuse, neglect and assault with intent to cause serious injury.

The camp, in which two other boys had previously died, promised parents to ‘turn boys into men’. The trial has now gone on for three years.

According to SAPA, De Koka told the Vereeniging Regional Court all of Buys’ injuries were self-inflicted or caused by fights with another boy at the camp.

He claimed he changed the teen to a bed because he ‘heard a rumor that he wanted to commit suicide.’

He says he was concerned about Buys’ well-being and ‘recorded conversations’ with him. According to De Koker’s own son, however, these were staged by the camp owner to cover up the abuse.

De Koker has denied the murder charge, calling it a ‘blatant lie’.

‘Yes, I was negligent. There are a lot of things I neglected to do,’ he said.

In testimony heard last year by one of Buys’ camp mates, they said Buys was chained to his bed every night, was refused permission to visit the toilet and on one occasion was forced to eat his own faeces.

He also said he would be beaten with planks, hosepipes and sticks when he failed to carry out manual labor tasks.

The 19-year-old alleged further he saw De Koker tied Buys to a chair naked with his head covered in a pillowcase, and would electrocute him with a stun gun.

Eric Calitz, 18, and Nicolaas Van Der Walt, 19, had both died after being enrolled at the Echo Wild Game Rangers camp four years earlier.
When Calitz requested to leave, De Koker reportedly told him he ‘wasn’t a moffie [gay] and he would make a man out of him’.

Calitz’s family was informed of his death via text message, saying he had died of a heart attack.

Afterwards, doctors said the cause of death was from a seizure, dehydration and found bleeding from the brain.

Van Der Walt was also claimed to have died from a heart attack, but doctors said he had appeared to have been choked with a seatbelt.

In 2009, De Koker was handed a suspended sentence over Calitz but escaped charges for the death of Van Der Walt, and the camp was allowed to continue.

Both De Koker and Erasmus have pleaded not guilty to the charges. The case continues.

30 Jul34 notes 34 notes

"But once I became a Christian and was told that my sexuality was deviant and sinful, I felt ashamed about it. This may sound bizarre to some people—how I so quickly went from pride to shame—but when you’ve had a spiritual experience and seek to understand it by finding pastoral help, it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing them as the experts, and believing their interpretation of certain Biblical passages without taking the larger picture into consideration. And without knowing that their interpretation is not the only interpretation."Yvette Cantu Schneider, former ex-gay proponent, who recently came out as bisexual and denounced ex-gay therapy